SLEEP ON IT: Pages From My Storybook

Underwhelm

To underwhelm someone is to fail to impress.

Being labelled as ‘the ugliest’ in a sibling of seven with five of whom are girls, especially when this was used to describe me everytime visitors were in our house on ocassions, drove me to the brink of heartbreak which left an imprint unfathomable to forget!

– I am most grateful to kind Pido, a neighbor, who lived across the street who was my constant public defender. He used to announce to people he had the chance to talk with about how I was treated that I was not the ugliest for my beauty was exquisite! Haha! Modesty aside, my gratitude for dear Pido was not because of the adjective he referred to me but because despite the predicament I was plunged into, not by my own accord, someone had a heart to pacify my devastated being! Honestly, I never even had an instance when I felt insecure with whatever features my siblings had and have until now. The hurt surfaced only when the elder could not contain himself but to express unexplainable hatred existing within himself towards an offspring who could not decipher and fathom its depth! So sorry for the underlying turmoil a man had to fight with which made another soul suffer without even doing anything to cause an annoyance!

One good move I took was to join the choir in our church instead of loitering around and creating mischiefs. Although I was not gifted with an impressive singing voice, yet I found a home there as I felt I was human after all! For almost six years, the choir became my haven! Salud!

In our house, my mode was mouse like, for I only squeaked when I was stepped upon as I scampered away to dwell in my sorrow! I lost my tongue at our house, but caused me to become somebody else the moment I went out the gate!

Misdemeanor was my family name in high school that my second year adviser called me, ” tomboy!” I lost my seat at the top of the class for a bully I had become. Stones were my friends for when I found myself in trouble, they were thrown to my offenders! I never leave school unscathed though for I had to pay the price of my mischiefs. Usually, being sent out of the classroom to just stand at the doorway and wave to my peers inside or I needed to clean the church by sweeping the floor alone! During CAT 1 training, I usually had an exercise of twenty push ups for the demerits I plunged myself into just to catch a break! The worst was the suspension for a month when I failed to honor the administrative officer! Anyway, I concocted lots of ideas to express the turmoil boiling in me to my loss in the end!

Mother thought, I was as quiet as a mouse everywhere I went, that when she asked me what course I wanted to take she did not believed in me! If I pursue Mass Communication, she stressed that I could not land a job for I did not even talk! Hahahaha! I became a nursing student and I was bashed not to tackle the subjects! Well, I survived two years with three hospitals where I passed internship ,yet since I was not too focused for my desire was elsewhere my misguided self shifted to the crib in my own nursery! Lost!

Going back to college after two years of respite was not too hard despite not pursuing the dream as the force of circumstance was the top priority. Those where the times when my mentors really saw me as a person whose individually came with a package for The Arts when I was given the chance to become the editor-in-chief of The A&S Journal which gave me the chance to put into practice my journalistic aptitude to good use.

All praises go to my mentors especially to The Dean, Miss Judith Miado and Miss Lita Cañuto who polished my capabilities and deligence. Avenues of good communication and the art of analysis were enhanced for the appreciation played a lion’s share in the development of my system! To You, My Mentors, SALUD!

Work is a different thing! We meet those who lift us and those who kick us to fall down from the ladder so as not to be able to reach the top! No amount of good one pours in if the ones on their seats do not wear badges of impression to see one through, then, the failure to success comes in with the wrath of nothingness! The best ones exist, too, for they look into the abilities of the working force and make portals for them to worm their ways to their pedestals!

Another Salud to Mrs. Bernadette M. Somcio who invited me to write an article for The NDB as she was a columnist at that time. True to herself, I was given a space sometime in 1996, hence the column ‘Sleep on it!’ was born with a bit of slumber from January of 2018 to March of 2024 due to my eyes milady!

To my NDB Family, my gratitude for this new chapter which make me live again! Sir Pert, Ed, Arman and Staff, SALUD!

Before we underwhelm people, let us walk in their shoes and when we find out that the shoes fit, then it will be the moment not to cast the stone!

Shalom!*