SLEEP ON IT: Blunder

Blunder as defined by Oxford Languages when Googled refers to a stupid or careless mistake.

The many blunders people commit while traversing life’s journey are inevitable as we are but humans. This reason maybe is too shallow for things could be avoided if there is a thorough analysis of the move to take before it is executed. At times, however, the action becomes automatic based on the gut feeling or some quick responses are truly impulsive because of agitation or nervous reaction or even an uncontrollable chuckle to one’s reaction to an unexpected turn of event. These notes per se are all in my cup of tea.

Talking about the uncontrollable laughter, well, I am stressing that judging my reaction will be unfair if the recall is not read up to the end for I was honestly laughing at myself for jolting as I did because I did not expect to see differently!

After work that afternoon of long ago, I dropped by a pharmacy for the medicine I needed to take. Since, it was dismissal time both from schools and from offices, the establishment was so crowded. I positioned myself at the back of the lady who was waiting at the rear of the counter. To entertain myself from the long wait, I stood there admiring the lady’s back for she was awesomely presentable in that angle. In my mind was a big, big, wow for the image that formed in my head until she suddenly turned her attention to me!

Lo! and behold! I almost jumped for surprise seeing that one of her eyes was that of marble! I cannot explain why I was almost in trance laughing to how I was shocked not because of her eyes but because of how I reacted! Right away, I almost ran to hide my uncontrolled laughing while I hurriedly boarded a jeepney! As I was still in my folly laughing at myself, the lady seated in front of me had a weird expression of an immense question mark written all over her face! Without qualm and between my chuckles and teary eyes, I waved at her saying, “Don’t worry, Miss! The doctor said, I will be ok soon!” Still in the mode of lunacy, I alighted at the nearby jeepney stop to board another ride for home with the guffaw that was hard to eliminate! Peace!

The many rides I embraced on my own day in and day out, rain or shine or storm, morning, noon and night while I was still on the job taught me how to manage each travel without getting bored.

In some instances, I played the game I concocted and that was to look at the first letter of the vehicle ahead and to enumerate all the words that I could form out of it! The words need not be in alphabetical order, for they should be in random recall Like: F- fine, fish, frost, fist, father, friend, first, fresh, etc, etc. Really I enjoyed those rides, yet sometimes, words did not come out easily, haha. Before I knew it, time had slipped fast for me to alight to the corner where a few paces led me home!

– Observing people while in transit on a jeepney is an interesting idea without the staring mode though or a sneer will be the reward! Since the face-to-face sitting position is built in, observation comes easy.

– While the jeepney was on the move, I happened to glance at a lady whose upper front teeth were long that even if she closed her lips, the set of teeth were still visible. Little by little I feel the tiredness in my mouth for it seemed I was feeling the burden of not closing my mouth properly, too! Gosh! What an imagination had eaten me that day for when I stepped down from the vehicle I seemed to show off my front teeth with my lower lip under it which really tired my mouth as well as my jaw! Observant indeed! Peace!

– Another ride brought me to a wilder imagination for when I gazed at the man sitting some distance in front of me caught my fancy! I do not put people down because of their looks for I, too, was a subject of bullying by a gang of grade school kids way back in my elementary days. Believe me, I do not laugh at how people look for I, too was of the same boat while growing up. Going back to that man gave me a more heartbreaking sentiment of how some were and are treated because of one’s features. Yes, I cannot help but form the image in my mind for each time I looked in his direction, he appeared like a goat in my eyes. Maybe it was because of his elongated eyes that almost reached his ears. Oh! Please! Judge me not for my imagination overpowered me that day! Peace!

Blunder created a havoc in my heart and mind not only because I committed some, but also because others caused them to shred my being into pieces!

Words harsh enough to topple down an army are at times thrown to us or we ourselves deliver them in the heat of anger and of disappointments and even in misgivings for taking a pause and replaying the words in the mind before blurting them out were never given some thinking! Patience, too, doesn’t exist when the self has the lion’s share in the relationship involved with.

Reuniting with a childhood, schoolmate and choirmate after the loss of her account to a hacker, reopened the avenue of joy left by her demised identical twin gave me more reasons to smile when she told me stories of The Faith she embraces that makes her life lighter. This reunion even just in a video call only allows a positive streak that sets in in order to diminish a bit of the grief that drowns me from losing both my sons. Yes, acquaintances tell me to move on and which I am trying the hardest, nevertheless, losing loved ones shatters the heart and after years of mourning, the pain in small ways just leave, but losing my sons will never leave the shadows they cast upon my soul! This state of being is one which I will not wish for any mother to happen even if she is a foe! Such a milady, a cross too heavy to carry on one’s shoulders! A pain which crumples the spirit and a hallow irreplaceable by nobody!

In my high school Spanish Class, a lion’s story has left one statement that says: “El leon es muribundo un una cueva…”, translated in English: “The lion is dying in the cave…”. Before the lion of happiness and of hope fade away in the cave of our systems, may we ponder on how love creeps in in ourselves that the same love will transcend to the lives and the living of others! Let us think twice or more that no blunder will bother our conscience anymore! Peace!

’till next ish… SHALOM!* (MLP)